A Tribute to the Professors of India [not all professors ofcourse], on their usage of English.  [------Don’t get annoyed! Please take in Good Spirit!!------]

# Inside the Class:
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor.
* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning- AFTER the class ..)
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length.
* shhh... quite, the principal is rotating in the school.
* (Facing the Board) Dont talk in front of my back.

# About his family:
* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls.... (?)

# At the ground:
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the ball.

# To a boy, angrily:
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# Giving a punishment:
* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO....(?)

Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school (to that boy): "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."

One Girl student was daily giving false excuses to her professor for not submitting the Laboratory Record. One day the professor lost his patience. Infront of the entire class, he shouted at her-- “ Yesterday you lie with me, today you lie with me. If tomorrow you lie with me once again, I’ll show you!!!!!!!!!.

Mulla and his son were riding the donkey to the town market. A group of people passed. Mulla heard them whisper:

"What times are these ? Look at those two, have no mercy on the poor animal!"

Mulla, hearing this, tells his son to get off and continue the journey on foot. Another group of people passing by and seeing this comment :

"What times are these ? Look at this man. His poor son with his frail body has to walk while he at his best age is riding the donkey!”

Hearing this, Mulla tells his son to ride the donkey and he himself gets off to walk the rest of the way. A third group of people seeing this remark :

"What times are these ? This young man is riding the donkey while his sickly old father has to walk!”

Hearing this, Mulla tells his son to get off the animal and they both walk with the donkey trailing behind. Another group passing by point to them, laughing:

"Look at these idiots. They have a donkey and they are walking all the way to the market!!!"

Calling a thing by its name does not mean the name     becomes the thing.                       
                                              ( J.Krishnamurthy)
                                                                                      Illustration ( By Berne ):-

When a child looks at a bird, he looks at its splendid colours, the texture of its feathers, its surprised movements, its cooing and the whole spectrum of events delights him.
Then comes along Father who must intervene in the son's own interests and tell him that this is a robin, that is a swallow and that he had better know the difference.
No sooner than this lesson on nomenclature is imparted than the boy stops to see the bird and becomes obsessed with the word. He starts comparing things and the joy of direct perception is lost.

So, to look at a thing , look at it without the word coming in between.

A master and his disciple are riding across the Arabian desert.  The master makes use of every moment of their ride to teach the disciple about faith.

 "Trust in God," he says.  "God never abandons his children."     

At night, in their camp, the master asks the disciple to tie the horses to a nearby rock.  The disciple goes to the rock, but remembers what the master has taught him: "He must be testing me," he thinks.  "I should leave the horses to God."  And he leaves the horses unfettered.

   In the morning, the disciple sees that the horses have disappeared.  Revolted, he comes back to his master.               
"You know nothing about God," he exclaims. 
"I left the horses in His care, and now the animals are gone."   
"God wanted to care for the horses," the master answered.
  "But to do that, he needed your hands to tie them."

Lead through policies, discipline through punishments,
and the people may be restrained but without a sense of shame.

Lead through virtue, discipline through the rites,
and there will be a sense of shame and conscientious improvements.

                                   ( Confucious )

A stranger sought out the Father Superior at the monastery of Sceta.  
"I want to make my life better," he said.
 "But I cannot keep myself from having sinful thoughts."           
The father noticed that the wind was blowing briskly outside, and said to the stranger:  "It's quite hot in here. 
I wonder if you could seize a bit of that wind outside and bring it here to cool the room."
"That's impossible," the stranger said.
            "It is also impossible to keep yourself from thinking of things that offend God," answered the monk. 
"But, if you know how to say no to temptation, they will cause you no harm."

Array